sunflowers
Originally uploaded by korcepaul

The Swift Current of Summer

The baseball and the out of the park home run hit by this 13-year-old-
The 4th of July this weekend with all its dreamy patriotism and celebratory spirit-
Sleeping in the tent each night with my girls, their bedroom is now in our yard-
Tomato plants growing leaps and bounds-
Hot coffee and smoothies with the hummingbirds in the morning-
The sparkling lake-
Cherries on trees-
The dirty child-
The river-
The dew on perennials-
The promise it will move fast every year-

Summer-West Edition

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

The news that Earthmama's oldest son will join us for the 4 days before camp is so very exciting. We cannot wait to show him the mountains in between baseball games. There is even a change he may get to go see George Clinton and Rusted Root in Telluride while he is here.

The summer has hit in full force with long leisurely walks on the Colorado Trail, a messy house, a sunburn and long afternoon's at the beach on the river as the kids build in the sand and the parents talk summer plans over cocktails. Dreamy summer. The Peonies are Saturdays farmer's market score, they are prettier than my carrots and my spinach, although not by much.

The job prospects are here, I am waiting to see what is a good fit. What seems to be a good fit in an interview has not been offered and what has been offered is simply not a good fit. Can you tell how sad I am about that? For now, I have little money and a lot of time. Somehow, that seems more valuable than the money-at least for now.

Out of pure curiosity I watched a certain reality TV show on Monday.
I can only say, I am happy for this woman that she will now have one less child to care for, that she has enough money to avoid financial struggle. I am sure she may not see it that way now, but I hope she considers something other than a reverse mullet for a hair cut.

summer?

We are having another SOPPY summer here in New England. Dampened earth does not bode well for many a plant species. The strawberries are all quite sad and sour. My tomatoes are falling off their mildewy vines; hard, green and tiny- cast out in their infancy. The farmers sit helplessly by and watch as the hay fields yellow from age. Get your bucket and start bailing!

BUT some...

...some are bustling along as if somehow they won an evolutionary Pulitzer for adaptation! The mosquitoes have reached biblical proportions. The asparagus has never seen better days. And the trees- oh so full that their branches are bent low from the weight of their gluttonous leaves.

I spoke to a farmer the other day who said that she thought we were entitled to a good season this year, especially after last years' many hills. In passing she quipped with a wide grin, "In fact, we aren't really entitled to anything, are we."

No, I suppose we are not.

Thanks to the rain for all of this wonderful Hadley GRASS! Thanks also to Weleda for making a burn cream that just so happens to double as THE BEST ever remedy for itchy mosquito bites! As I listen to the rain dripping down, I stare at the pregnant trees and can't help but wonder, doesn't sour tomato jam sound delightful!

yours in letting go of entitlement,
earthmama

Fathers Day And Other Events Around the World.

It's been a long time since I posted anything political. I am following Iranian events with curiosity, this blog in particular has been full of information.

In addition, my Friday night Television watching consists of Real Time with Bill Maher, this past Friday was extremely painful. I was left wondering how one earns a degree from Columbia University and performs so poorly in an interview or debate context. I was left rooting for the woman who I do not agree with on any level out of pure pity.

On the Father's Day front, breakfast in bed has been served along with two papers and a mess waiting to be cleaned. Have a great day, solstice and if you are like me, a couple birthdays.

Ike At 13

Words fail me in describing how lucky I am to have you here with us, with this family.

Tonight it was just us three, talking about our family at the beginning before your sisters, the dog and the great move.

Tonight we talked about you as a baby, eating avocado, throwing rocks in the river and sneaking in to my bed. Your toddler stutter, your eye stitches on Memorial Day when you were four, your Incredible Hulk Cake in Santa Fe and your sweet little boy body learning to ride a bike. We talked about how Daddy had to hammer your bedroom window shut after you saw the Wizard of Oz because you were afraid of witches. Remembering the daily notes from your Kindergarten teacher, you hated all the "work" and blew your nose on your sleeve. I didn't blame you, you were little to have to sit and write and learn to read. I should have known it. They are test happy in New York and I did't see how little you truly were. Now you are my son who makes the honor roll and has a .672 batting average.

Remember the tadpoles, riding bikes on the Lake Champlain Ferry and daddy lighting fireworks in the campground? You in your skeleton pajamas and chocolate on your camp fire lit face, so sweet so happy, so able to accept us with all our faults. I loved you then. I love you now.

Your little soccer team, an unexpected goal on your birthday, ice cream dinners after baseball in the spring and always your smile. Your sweet smile. The 20-foot-tall Christmas tree. Always cutting me some slack, always seeing my best and disregarding my worst. We should all love one another like a boy loves his mother.

Remember our house on the river? The big 200 year old farmhouse with bats, mice and all that work we did? Sleeping with us every night until the bedrooms were completed? Sleeping outside with your buddies in a tent with fireflies? Counting the bats fly from the chimney? I remember, like it was a moment ago. In a sense it is just a moment this life of ours.

I remember you getting on the bus with Frank your bus driver. Your awards in second grade and your sweet gentle kindness to Kitty who was born when you were in the 1st grade and old enough to give up a lot of your mother.

Remember fireworks at the college? Sitting so close we could feel them inside our belly and the fear when your baby sister ate the glow in the dark juice inside a necklace?

Our trips to Colorado, to the Ocean, to see the Yankees! You reading all the Harry Potter books with Daddy and us forcing you to bed when you lie awake reading late into the night.

I can think of more, I can see it all. To think my tears in the night so many years ago could have led to this beautiful light in my world leaves a knot in my throat and joy in my heart. In many cultures you are a man. In my heart you are always my baby. I love you.

Mom

Mom- According TO LIAM

THIS WAS SUPER FUN!
FEEL FREE TO COPY/PASTE
& INTERVIEW YOUR LITTLE ONE(s)~
#9 IS MY FAVORITE. NO SIR, MOM HAS
NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH HER ALONE
TIME OTHER THAN GROCERY SHOP ; )

LIAM age 5
MOM age 34

1. What is something mom always says to you? STOP

2. What makes mom happy? ME DOING MY JOB- PLAYING

3. What makes mom sad? WHEN I'M SICK

4. How does your mom make you laugh? JOKES & TICKLING

5. What was your mom like as a child? WHIRLING AROUND AND TALKING

6. How old is your mom? 44

7. How tall is your mom? 16 FEET

8. What is her favorite thing to do? READ

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? GO TO THE GROCERY STORE ; )

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? MAKING A BAND

11. What is your mom really good at? YOGA

12. What is your mom not very good at? LETTING ME WATCH TV ; )

13. What does your mom do for her job? BEING THE BOSS, MAKING THE KIDS CLEAN UP THEIR ROOM ALL THE TIME

14. What is your mom's favorite food? SALAD

15 If your mom was given one wish, what would it be? TO FLY WITH THE FAIRIES

almost summer

It has been an unusual June, cool and overcast. The summer has been relatively dull and quiet. It seems this is exactly what we all need. The quiet, the calm, the breeze and a lot of local time. There are so many hiking trails close to my home, I cannot even begin to hike all of them this summer. The peas and lettuce are coming fast in the garden without regard to the cool weather.

As I type, my older daughter paints while looking at a Georgia O'Keefe Coffee table book. She is enthralled and I have promised her a trip to Ghost Ranch and to the museum in Santa Fe in the future. The younger daughter plays in the newly constructed sandbox with a bucket and shovel. The guys are at a baseball game, normally I hate to miss these precious baseball games.Tonight, I sit and blog quickly as the boys birthday cheesecake is baking. Both my husband and son celebrate their birthdays two days apart. With the spending freeze, I have had to reconsider my approach to celebrating these days. The son and I will hike. The husband will golf. Reluctantly, I will prepare steaks and shrimp with greens and this cheesecake for dessert. They will be happy given the typical vegetarian menu in this house.

For now, the quiet days are working. Working well.

mountain flowers

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

Another.

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

Today

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

Sore feet.
Sweat.
Hot, cold, hot and cold again.
In Colorado they say wait 10 minutes the weather will change.

Wisdom at 12,000 feet.

The Italian Boyfriend

Was quite literally a pain in the ass. If I only had a dollar for all the times I had to convince him that I had not cheated on him. Looking back, I wish I had half the fun he accused me of having. That said, I have to say the greatest gift this relationship gave me was mad Italian culinary skills. Sunday found us with him in his wife beater T-Shirt stirring sauce, Puccini playing loudly, a whole bottle of Bordeaux consumed and another to open at the table. I think of him every time I cook anything Italian. He taught me that a head of garlic makes an amazing dinner, sauteed with olive oil and a little water from your pasta. He taught me the benefit of mint in lasagna, of anchovies in marinara and grating your own hard Italian cheese upon your pasta. Oh yes, and how to cook your Lobster carcass into your Marinara Sauce for a few days until the sauce is filled with lobster meat.

Tonight my family is at a party and I completed my hike faster than typical. I had a head of garlic, sauteed in olive oil over angel hair. Here's to those relationships that left a little piece of something wonderful in our lives.

The bean thief

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

The busy little bean thief strikes again, pulling handfuls of beans out to consume while I am distracted.

Greek Pasta Salad
1 cup soybeans
1 small bag of orzo, cooked and strained
1 cup garbanzo beans
2 large red peppers diced
3-4 good sized carrots diced
1 large cucumber peeled and seeded
1 large lemon juiced
3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
3 tablespoons chopped FRESH Greek oregano
3 tablespoons chopped FRESH parsley
fresh ground black pepper
1/4 tsp salt
dash cayenne
dash paprika
dash cumin

combine in a pretty dish & top with feta, chopped black olives.

The Hike

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

The feelings of peace as I climb this small mountain come in waves. At first the steep climb renders me breathless, heart beating, ears pounding, butt burning and looking for a place to stop stretch and open my lungs a little more. Then something changes, I begin to observe the flowers, the trees and the birds around me. I sense the breeze, the sounds of the birds and the dry leaves rumbling as lizards run from the path. Yesterday, I saw a Western Tanager in a tree and felt gratitude for its presence in my day. At the top I look out over these mountains shadowed by moving clouds and melting snow. I live here! I wonder when the snow will melt enough for me to travel up higher. Keeping up with the Jones' seems a meaningless unimportant goal-selfish and shallow compared to all I have been given. Gratitude replaces want.

Walking meditation on the way down, several times I become aware that I am not thinking about anything. Empty mind. Full heart.

Nature is a many splendid thing.

Thrift store finds part #1 and other ramlings

The hats are all from the thrift store, my hat cost $1.00 and Kathryn's hats were $.50 each.

I hiked with my sis last night and again this morning. I spent last evening on our sofa with a big glass of tea and a bowl of popcorn. I read the second half of my book club book called "Drown" Saturday night on the sofa with a good book. What delight!

I have been cutting coupons from the Sunday paper and have to ask if any of you have ever ordered a bra from this section of the paper? I have also seen shoes, short pants and jewelry. I don't know why this captures my imagination, but it does. A bra just seems like an important purchase (definately not from the thrift store).

We received a catalog from Oriental Trading Post, I think this is the most horrible catalog I have ever seen. I am not even linking it here.

Cut off.

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

Just look at them! Can't you tell how disadvantaged they are? The clothes are from thrift stores, we had been camping and we even forced them to eat (gasp) our own food breakfast , lunch and dinner.

Seriously we are on a spending freeze. This periodically occurs when Scott has a job delayed or cancelled and we face the possibility of dipping into savings reserved for emergencies. We need to stop the bleed and refocus.

So for now, no trips, no camping, no thrift storing (gosh remind me to post photos of my most recent thrift store shopping trips), no dinners out, no wine, no micro brew with friends, no extra spending of any sort.

This puts me in the interesting position of cooking three meals every single day. I hope they like pasta and oatmeal! I am also trying to navigate all the birthdays (My husband and son's this month), the billion children's activities, the fees for camp and the feet that grow a size each month.

I think somehow, we will be just fine!

Walking with those you love.

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

I do not always see her. She is close, but not my friend. She is so important to me, I take her for granted she takes me for granted. She knows my history, shares my memories and can even be brutally honest. In fact she is my memory when my own fails me!

My sister made my day today. We climbed a mountain and sat at the peak while the sparrows ate the mosquitoes at sunset.

Life part 2

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

All is well. I am at that frustrating point of knowing myself and being honest.

When I was away, the guys got crazy with a weed whacker as a "gift" for Mother's Day. Thus, I no longer have poppies, russian sage, lavendar, peonies, salvia or little baby cherry trees to worry about. Yes, I was angry at first wondering if Scott had been drunk at the time, but recognizing he never overindulges in booze (just candy) I concluded I must let all hope of perennials go for this year. Honest mistake. I was "clear-cut"! Truly, the yard was beautiful, clean and free of all debris. I had that complicated gratitude one has toward a partner they know so well-it is the thought that counts. On the plus side, they left the bind weed thinking it was my most beautiful flower in the yard.

In the month since, I have come to a realization about gardening and its effect upon life. More specifically, my own time, recognizing what new things I can do in place of the many hours of weeding, mulching and pruning. We have vegetables and they are safely planted in raised beds with labels. This will do. The mistake was a gift in disguise, teaching me to shift my priorities for the time being. Teaching me to let go...

The evenings are filled with bike rides, the morning with hikes, the day with chores I repeat over and over in a meditative state. In quiet gratitude I explore the changes I am feeling and the lessons the present holds. Gifts from the thrift store, a conversation with friends, the sound of sparrows in the morning along the Colorado river, little sparkles and the hummingbirds all call to me to look at the here and the now.

The Baby

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

Finds her place in the world. She does not hold back in her passion for play, light and joy. I am absorbed in children right now. In the art of making our home whole and understanding more clearly the ways in which I am not at peace. I have had little to say, but rather a lot to say and not speaking on second thought.

Life

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Originally uploaded by korcepaul

Why don't these kids listen to me?
Why can't this partner know what I need?
Why do all my friends have so much?
Why do I have so little?
Why do all my relatives have to be republicans?
Why so much hate?
Why did that plane crash?
Why didn't I get the job?

Why do I hate to wake up?
Why could I not finish that book?
Why did I have another glass of wine last night?
Why did I say that?

How could you have forgotten to hug her this morning?
How did you find time to waste on the computer?

Yes, you are lucky you can still quiet the mind, if only for an afternoon to see the clouds roll slowly by this unremarkable life.